BALDNESS

If the tree could shed its leaves at Fall
And have them back in the wake of Spring
Or, if a bird could molt her plumage all
And have it grown on a feathery wing
Then why is it that a head of hair
Must lose it all and remain bare?

If baldness, as some say, is hereditary
‘Specially governed by the maternal side
And if man were a primate in his ancestry
As the evolutionists seem to provide
Then how is it that I'm yet to gape
At the shiny scalp of a bald ape?

If a face devoid of bristles is “clean”
As our society has come to claim it
Or, if the sky bereft of clouds is “clear”
As countless songs often proclaim it
Then why must a hairless head be called
Neither clean nor clear but simply bald?

If “hairy” implies a condition sticky
And “hair-raising” something very awing
Or, if “splitting hairs” means nitpicky
And “getting in one's hair” annoying
Then why not women in fond pursuit
Select hairless over hirsute?

If disheveled hair is uncivilized
And a matted chest abhorrent
Or, if pubic hair is ostracized
And a werewolf deemed aberrant
Then why is a balding head anemic
When it is so very hygienic?

Well, the prejudice has spread everywhere
So some wear a toupee, some others a wig
And some have surgically implanted hair
While others sport high hats or bonnets big
But the few who bare their heads so proud
Sure stand out and shine in a crowd!